


The Gift

by Tenca



Series: The Gift [1]
Category: Team Fortress 2
Genre: Angst and Humor, Blood, Canon-Typical Violence, Corpse Desecration, Dark Comedy, Gen, Gore, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-18
Updated: 2016-12-18
Packaged: 2018-09-09 09:53:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8886373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tenca/pseuds/Tenca
Summary: It's meant to be a parody of a story for kids."It's a new morning in Gravel Pit. (...) However, Soldier didn't went to sleep last night and the rest of the RED team don't know where is him..."Alternatively: "'What are you doing?!?" The french screamed with horror'".





	

It's a new morning in Gravel Pit. The RED team yesterday successfully defended their territory and let out BLU team, but today the blus are going to try again. However, Soldier didn't went to sleep last night and the rest of the RED team don't know where is him.

"He would be fine" they thought. "He is just sending the survivors to the respawn room".

"But if I remember well every single member from blu was dead" Spy thought, but he said no word, and kept smoking.

Strangely, the Soldier didn't wake up as he used to do everyday. Then, the group of mercenaries looked into his habitation, and there was not signals of him inside.

"The dumbass was killed" Said the Scout, and searched in the respawn room, but it was empty, without Soldier there.

"He must be outside". Said Engineer “Maybe with Sniper who sleep in his van last night”.

Engineer went outside, left a teleporter and kept walking over the site looking for Soldier. The rest of the team followed the texan. Finally they found Soldier, who was alone without Sniper.

"Good morning Engie!" Soldier exclaimed. "I did something for you!"

"Morning, Soldier. I'm looking at it” Replied the Engineer. "I'm impressed”. Said sincerely.

Anybody would be impressed. Imposing —taller than Heavy—, stand a cross. In the cross, held with ropes, is the corpse of the enemy Spy, who yesterday ended with the wrench breaking his head like a eggshell.

“Is, like a scarescrow?” Engineer asked.

“Exactly. That frenchie will think twice before annoy you” Soldier answered. Precisely, his most recent creation it is close of where Engineer usually puts one of his sentry nest.

“Thank you, Soldier. Really” Said The Engineer lying for himself. Even if he yesterday had some problems with the blu Spy (Well, a lot of problems), this “scarespy” didn't have a real utility more of being a terrible joke. He really appreciate the intentions of Soldier.

“You should eat before the battle began partner”. He said smiling.

“However this is a bizarre gift after all” He thought in his mind.

“I'm happy that you liked it! Engie. Today we are gonna win again!” And Soldier went find whatever he can eat in the kitchen, passing next to his teammates thought not before greeting them.

“Soldier as always” said Scout. Engineer nodded.

Pyro looked fascinated, and took out some trash around the dead Spy, cleaning the ground.

“What a waste of resourses” said the Medic indignant, and he left.

The dead bodies who remained in the battlefield were usually picked up by the Medic of the winner team with the help of Soldier, sometimes with Heavy too, but he didn't like do that. The Medic knew that Soldier stole valuable research material (heads) with the help of Demoman, totally unacceptable for a man of science like him. Specially when the bodies were exclusively for experiments, —some of them— autopsies (only the interest ones) and finally are cremated for salubrity. Except parts that end in jars immersed in alcohol and methanal. Or in the fridge.

Heavy didn't know what to say and he preferred to do the easiest option: Ignore everything that comes from his crazy research, follow the Medic and think better situations like have big day with the Doctor and Sasha.

He didn't notice when Pyro run away.

Meanwhile, Demoman was drinking whisky from his bottle. Sad, thinking that one of his enemies, who once —in reality: still. It's complicated— he considered him a beloved friend, could do that kind of gift. He thought in many things, about his hard missions and the voice of the Administrator inside his head. All what he wanted to do now was drink, and drown his thoghts in alcohol if he could.

Demo ignored the fact that Pyro was back with gasoline in his hands.

“Remove this immediately!” The Spy said furious when he finally was able to talk.

“No” Engineer answered coldly.

Soldier was back too, but flew away with a rocket jump, without even noticing the just started discussion between the Spy and the Engineer.

“What do you mean with no?!” Insisted the Spy.

“This is a gift for me” He replied back in a insolent tone.

“Now if you can excuse me, I have work to do” He smiled.

The Spy keep shouting to Engineer, till he noticed the Pyro spraying with gasoline his unfortunate doppelgänger who had his balaclava covered with dry blood. As if the situation could not be stranger.

“ _What are you doing?!?_ ” The french screamed with horror.

“Mmph?” the Pyro mumbled calmly and in the meantime he light the handmade bonfire with a matchstick from the Mann Co. Brand.

In a despaired gesture the Spy laid his hands over his head, meanwhile the Pyro raised his arms happily, and then he went to help Engie as nothing happened.

“Maybe this is Art after all” Though the Engineer and laughed, coughing a little by the smoke.

He couldn't put a any machine nearly the grotesque piece of art.

 

In other place, Sniper was finishing of filling a jarate jar. He was ready for kill the enemy team with his rifle. He wonder if his team was ready too, and look quickly through the scope of his rifle. Besides his coworkers he saw a smoky cross with a corpse in flames on it.

“What the-”

Later, after winning again, the Scout explained to him what was that. He didn't like the gift from Soldier to Engineer, he thought it was a bizarre idea, even if see the corpse of the enemy Spy made him laugh a bit for the bad luck that the man had.

“The Spy was alive when Soldier do... that?”

He dosen't know that the Spy was already dead. Unless he use the huntsman —huntsman for him; bow and arrow to every else— he prefer fight far of his teammates. Scout knew the truth but as answer just lift his shoulders with indifference.

It was not so funny for the Sniper anymore.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks a lot to Misha who helped with me the translation ;-; (his url in tumblr is irlmisha) and Gekko who read this before was published (her url is strahldelune).
> 
> Why I wrote this? I thought "If Soldier gave to Zhanna of necklace human ears, what Soldier would give to Engie?". 
> 
> Later, "What if Sniper don't like that...?" or in other words "What if I use that as a excuse to write Sniper/Spy...?" And I make a ansgt, hurt/comfort fanfic with chapters, but still in Spanish (yes, already done). Too different to these (the writing style), so I still consider this as a one shot. Maybe I should post those in spanish and later the translated chapters (edit: Done but now I think the story could be longer).


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